I have just arrived from many years from this point in time. I have traveled through time. I could be so bold as to say that I am the first one, but those preceding me may choose to travel back to a time earlier than this claiming that title. Regardless, I did not take the trek for fame or glory, but to escape bill collectors trying to get their ridiculous charges for my cell phone. Yes, for those wondering, in the future, the cellular phone will still be humans main form of communication, but it has been sync with the brain so that you no longer need to worry about hands free calling.
Upon arriving here I have noticed that most people that I met are rather rude and unwilling to great me with the customary pubic bump. I have given up hope of normal conversations, and have turned to a place where I am more comfortable, the virtual word, where I do most of my business where I come from. I made my way to a blog, and had to hack into an account. I was able to crack the password in just under twelve hundred attempts, and using my vast knowledge of intergalactic statistical know-how, I deem that quite remarkable, seeing how many possible combinations exist.
I know for those that read this they will wonder if I created time travel, and the answer is no, I did not, but I know the person who did. I will not share his name however because I am not on speaking terms with him after he turned my poodle into a hemlock. So you will just have to wait it out until you can see for yourself. I would assume humans in this time can sustain life over two centuries, so just sit patiently and bide your time. Also in my time, the silly gas crisis that I keep hearing about now has ended. Engineers have developed a form of fuel contracted from the milk of cows, and the energy is clean and highly sustainable. The cows grew wise to their importance and launched an uprising for more rights. They were granted complete equal rights to humans with very little opposition. I do not fully agree with the shared bathrooms because cows rarely clean up after themselves. Cows are also terrible drivers. Aside from being dairy doners, most cows ventured into the performing arts as mimes, being that they are already incapable of speech. I would assume in the later years cows will develop better communication skills.
As I sign off now, leaving you with one final thought. I have noticed many stores selling sleeveless T-shirts, but my mind is boggled. If the namesake of the shirt is based after the resemblance to a letter, should the sleeveless counterpart be referred to as an I-shirt or a lowercase L shirt? Please keep me posted on your findings.
-Commander Alba Tross
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