The Voldemort Nose Splice Project

The Harry Potter book and movie series may be all wrapped up and some believe that he who shall not be mentioned has gone the way of the wind, but in reality he now resides with a team of scientists. The brain trust known as the Voldemort Nose Splice Project is working around the petri dish and focusing on fringe science to get a nose back on the prince of darkness. One day he shall rise again, or at least sniff again.

Subject #1: Sarah Jessica Parker

Sarah Jessica Voldemort: A research and development team has been working on the magic of splicing celebrities noses with famed Harry Potter villain, Voldemort, so that he can once again join society and not be such a hard-ass all the time. The first test intended to give Voldemort the confidence he needed to spend a night out on the town with the ladies. Results were moderate.

Subject #2: Groucho Marx

VoldeMarx: As the splicing project continued, research and developers planned on adding to Voldemort's charism and ventured down a path to increase his comedic potential. Results were moderate.

Subject #3: Gonzo

Gonzoldemort: Development has entertained the notion to use Muppet DNA in order to give Voldemort a more durable washer friendly look. Results were less than satisfactory.

Subject #4: Bozo the Clown

Bozoldemort: Again trying to delve into the comical side of the evil magical tyrant, attempts were made to douse Voldemort with levity. Results were unknown as developers were smitten.

Subject #5: Shaquille O'Neal

Shaquille O'Mort: Focusing on power, strength, and excellent olfactory senses, and figuring since retiring Shaq may not need his nose as frequently. Scientists jumped through hoops to merged the two titans and hit it from downtown. Results were excellent and researchers discovered the basketball giant was not Irish at all.

Subject #6: Spoon Trick

Floating Spoon: Truly a remarkable magician, the spoon appears to be floating. Although not precisely what the VNSP researchers had in mind, it did help to lift spirits.