The Dan Joke: FAN MAIL: Red Hot Chili Peppers

Dear Red Hot Chili Peppers,

Why are you so freakin’ awesome? Remember that time I was listening to you in my car? What do you mean which time? OK, so I listen to you a great deal in my car, well fine, you got me, but do you remember any of those times? Really? I feel a little insulted. I know you have millions is not billions or thousands of listeners, but I thought I was special. Why? Because I think I am special, and my mom probably thinks I am special, and my mom is a smart lady because she thinks I am special, and I will not hear anything about that being a recursive loop. I also wanted to say thanks for putting on such awesome live shows. You were on you’re A-Game when playing in Newark, NJ, and I am sure the city appreciated that you did not bring up the fact that everyone was in Newark, NJ, I am sure they all knew, but reminders are never fun. Then, you played the capital and were equally as amazing. Huh? No, like the nation’s capital, oh, no not capital like RHCP, no, I know I should have specified. Allow me to rephrase, you were awesome in Washington. No, not the state. Well, I am sure you were awesome in the state, but I was not at that show, so I cannot make such a bold statement; I meant D.C. No, Donkey Kong is spelled with a ‘K’. D.C. meaning District of Columbia. What? No, I did not catch you on your South American leg of the tour, and you know as well as I know that I am not talking about the country Columbia, and if you try to play me for a fool like you think I am talking about the school than I will walk away. OK, you got me, if I walk away than who will post this, so just the fact that you are reading this you proved to everyone I did not walk away. Fine you win. The Red Hot Chili Peppers bested me once more, and for this I hold no shame; they are all fine specimens of human beings and I proudly admit them to be my superiors. Live long and prosper, and keep on making that fine ole ear candy.

Yours (mostly) truly,
Dan