ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: Cyborg

Chaos causing casualties, creation of a cure
Youth yelling, yielding a yearning year
Bringing brimstone, bravery on the brink
Overcome the occurring outbreak
Raging radical robot, roaming with the rats
Gibson gets the girl, goons get the gat

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: Legionnaire

Alain Lefevre is boxer of quickness and might,
But he finds himself running when he won’t throw a fight
He then kills the brother of the local kingpin,
And that’s where the adventure truly begins
He has no place to run, and can not hide anywhere
So he is embarks off to Africa, as a French Legionnaire
He is now in the front lines, getting into some tussles
But even in Africa, you can’t mess with the Muscles from Brussels

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: Hard Target

When looking for thrills and something to kill,
Why not try the homeless with military skills
No one will miss them when they turn up deceased,
But when Jean Claude hears this, he is definitely not pleased
Will violence, explosions, more violence and blood,
You will learn a lesson that everyone should
If you’re running an operation where Van Damme is the prey,
Then surely without fail, you will rue the day

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: Predator

A man who has power in every touch,
He may fight for the U.S., but he is Dutch
Led into the meat grinder by former friend Dillon,
When an unknown creature starts the killin’
Arnold watches as everyone dies,
One by one, they drop like flies
But he has some trouble while fighting this louse,
Because he’s not the only thing as big as a house
Unable to best him my strength,
He goes through every great length
He plans an attack,
With multiple traps
Using himself as the lure,
To catch the Predator
A movie unlike any other,
Starring Schwarzenegger and one ugly mother

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: Conan

Crom smiles upon this barbarian male
Off on an adventure in an epic tale
Nears death by a cult with a serpentine hail
Avenging his family without fail
Now with the aid of his thieves he must prevail

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: The Quest

A quest falls upon Chris Dubois out of the blue,
When he was miming with orphans just for some food.
He was chased out to sea, and sold to a school,
But Jean-Claude Van Damme is nobodies fool.
He trained at the school and became one of their best,
Then snuck into a tournament, to fulfill his life quest.
He wanted the prize, not because it was pure gold,
He wanted to prove he was strong, determined and bold.

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: Kickboxer

The two Sloane brothers travel out of town,
Then Eric gets paralyzed from the waist down.
Now younger Kurt, must avenge for his kin,
He must learn Muay-Thai, but doesn’t know where to begin.
He trains under Zion, who knew Jean-Claude had guts,
But really Zion just wanted to drop cocoanuts.
Kurt then challenges the champ for his crippling sin,
Even though all of Thailand is convinced he can not win.
How will Van Damme fair against unbeatable Tong Po?
Watch this classic movie, and you too shall soon know.

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: Universal Soldier: The Return

Van Damme is back, for his first ever sequel,
Against super computer SETH, to whom there’s no equal.
SETH turned to evil and killed his creator,
And kidnapped Jean-Claude’s daughter, now he’ll need to save her.
Van Damme pays a visit to the blue haired designer,
And must stand up against, Goldberg’s cheesy one-liners.
Will time run out for Luc Deveraux and his girl,
Or will the universal soldiers, devour the world?

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: Lionheart

Lyon Gaultier got news that his brother is dying,
So he fled South Africa where he was Legionnairing.
To aid his brother; to America he set sail,
With two French Legionnaire’s fresh on his trail.
He arrived in New York, but needed LA
So he fought in a street fight, and boy did it pay.
He fought his way to LA, got there in one piece,
Now he fights to care for his sister-in-law and his niece.
His next fight is against Attila the beast,
Who toys with his opponents, just to say the least.
Will Van Damme manage to save his family this time?
Or get dragged back to Africa? Now this is a bind.

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: Twins

Together they make unlikely kin
While one is pure, the other one sins
In Search of their mother
Now bonded as brothers
Since then, their lives truly begin

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: Timecop

Max Walker’s a cop, of present and past,
He had a married life, that wasn’t destined to last.
His wife was murdered in the midst of a storm,
10 years later the hope of saving her is born.
Walker uncovers a politician’s presidential ploy,
Chased into the past Max is overcome with joy.
He meets his wife Melissa again and vows to change her demise,
Along with catch Senator McComb, whom he’s grown to despise.
Van Damme must be wise with all he will face,
And remember that no one can occupy their own space.

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: In Hell

A life fell apart for Kyle LeBlanc.
A life left in prison when spirits are sunk.
His wife was murdered coldly and the perp walked in court,
So Van Damme murdered back, with moves from Bloodsport.
Now he rests all his nights sleeping in a cell,
He now knows what it means to be truly In Hell.
Unfortunately for him, there are no shining lights,
As the warden in jail forces him into fights.
LaBlanc rises quickly, privileged in a way,
But once refusing to fight, isolated all day.
Jean-Claude currently has one of two choices to make,
Keep battling for life, or stop for inner peace sake.

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: Bloodsport

Van Damme is clearing house the Frank Dux way,
In the greatest movie ever about the Kumite.
It is an action extraordinaire galore,
With roundhouses, splits, crotch punches and more.
Fueled by desire at his lifelong quest,
He must prove to Tanaka that he is the best.
This tournament is for the fighting elite,
And being victor would be quite the feat.
With woman Janice and his brute friend Ray,
He shows Hong Kong why it’s A O.K. USA.

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: Universal Soldier

Luc and Scott were soldiers, who killed each other in Nam,
Then science pulled through and made them much more then man
Artificially revived, stronger, smarter and fast.
But problems arise, when they remember their past.
Van Damme must save the day, which is not a shocker,
But Dolph sad to say, is just off his rocker.
Maniacal madness and sinister sneers,
Sporting his bling, decorated with ears.
An epic battle ensues, the action will spike,
Will Jean-Claude and Rocky share something alike?

ODE TO ACTION MOVIES: Death Warrant

An action adventure unlike any other,
Detective Burke goes to prison, but just undercover.
Investigating murders occurring in jail,
Fighting off convicts trying to sodomize his tail.

Befriending The Priest who is rather freaky,
And a one eyed inmate who sounds like Rafiki.
See Van Damme in one of his best,
See if he will put the Sandman to rest.